Solving my problems

Good friends cherish one's life :)

olumsuzluk iliskisinden fazlasi - more than a negativity relationship

Beni sevmedigini dusundugum biri var, sevdigini bildigim ama sevmedigini dusundugum biri var. Buraya duygularimi dokmeye yazmiyorum; bugun bahsetmek istedigim sey sevmek ve sevmemek arasindaki 3 asama gosteren iliski. Sevmek 1 (bir) ise; sevmemek hem sevme halinin yoksunlugunu, yani 0 (sifir), hem de sevmeme fiilini ifade ediyor yani -1 (eksi 1). Bu gercek bizi cok karistiriyor. Bu durumda sevmemek essesli olabilir mi acaba? Peki yazi dilinde nasil ayiririz bunu? --- There is someone I think does not love me, I know the person does but I still think does not. I am not writing to share my emotions and get relief; what I want to talk about it to love and to not love and the 3 fold relationship between them. If loving is 1 (one); 'to not love' both defines the lack of love, 0 (zero, and the state of not loving, -1 (minus one). This confuses us a lot. Can 'to not love' be himinymic? So how do we make the difference in writing?

gym motivation - miss my bro!

I should maybe cover this in a long and extensive post but I just felt like writing that. I know if I go to the gym, I will get rid of some of the 'spring frustrations' I have while I am getting rid of the excessive calories I have filled my body with in the last years. BUT I just .... don't have a reason and I'm sitting here because my brother is not picking his phone to motivate me. I miss my motivating bro! hugs bro

Mukemmelliyetcinin ic savasini prensler mi bitirmeli?

Bu yaziyi bir arkadasim Siyah Kugu filminden bahsederken gonderdi bana, ben de yaziyla ilgili dusuncelerimi yaziyaziverdim.

Ece Temelkuran'in dusuncelerini sade ve anlasilir, yine de etkili ve derin iletmesi hosuma gitti en cok bir de kose yazarligindan gelen yargilayici oldugunu dusundugum yaklasimina biraz imrenerek baktim. Yargilamaktan o kadar kaciniyoruz ki biz, belki de bir yerde gucunu yitiriyor cumlelerimiz cok daha derinden gelen bir guc arayisiyla, insan olmak, esit olmak arayisiyla. Fakat yargilamak lazim, erkekleri degil ama bilincli ya da bilincsiz sekilde icinde rahat yasadiklari bu duzeni yargilamak lazim. Bunu degistirirken onlarin da bizim ozgurluk danslarimizda olmalari gerektigini soylemek lazim cekinmeden.

Yazinin icerigine gelince, gozlemlerin cok yerinde oldugunu dusunuyorum. Okurken, evet cok dogru, benim canavarim nerede, annemin kizi olarak benim canavarim ne kadar buyuk ne kadar kucuk, diye dusundum. Hepimizin yolunu kesen, kiz cocuklugundan gelme kalma canavarlari var, bir seylere ragmen bir seyler yapmaya alistik kadin olarak; ama bir noktada kesinlikle katilmiyorum Temelkuran'a. "Hiçbir prens kurtarmaz bizi canavarlardan. Ama ancak bir prens bizi sevdiğinde kendimizi kurtarırız kendimizden. " demis; bu kurtarilmayi neden baska prenslere ve onlarin sevkatlerine bagliyoruz? Sevmek, sevilmek ve anlasilmak cok guzel elbette, kendiyle savasmayan kadinlarin korkutuculugunu da biliyoruz toplumda; ama yine de neden baskalari kurtariyor bizi? Ozgurlugumu elime almak istiyorum ve bu gucu annemden, topraktan, deneyimleyebilen ellerimden almak istiyorum, aliyorum.

Kadinlarin ic durdurucularina ve elestiricilerine, mukemmelliyet arayiscilari olan ic iskence dongulerine bir baskasinin sevgisi uzerinden cozum bulmak ayni duzenin parcasi degil midir? Bir adim daha atsak gercek anlamda ozgur olmaz miyiz?

Ideas of March

We need a blog revival! Here’s how you can join in the blog revival:

• Write a post called Ideas of March.
• List some of the reasons you like blogs.
• Pledge to blog more the rest of the month.
• Share your thoughts on Twitter with the #ideasofmarch hashtag.

I recently reached this through Twitter, which I find pretty ironic. But here I am "reviving my blog" and I also think he has a point. I like blogs because

• They allow a person to person connection
• So it becomes "more emotional" in a way (that I am into!)
• It provides review of the past thoughts.
• For the blogger, for me, my blog is something I use to make my thoughts presentable, it is a good exercise
• It also allows me to work on a full story within intervals of time

I am not an experience twitter (is that what we call people who tweet?). I enjoy it but most of the time, Twitter makes my head turn. It is like a lot of people talking and I do not know who to listen. It is nice for 'smelling the air' but to actually understand things and people, I need time and space. That is all for now, I will try to post more in march.

Wholeheartidness

Hello!

I just bumped into this online. Since I recently have been in Hella Jongerius' Misfit exhibition in Museum Booijmans van Beuningen, I have also started to think how much 'Imperfectionism' can mean. Here there is this other post that made me think. I have not reached anywhere yet but I feel something.

PICKED: Brené Brown on Wholeheartedness

By Maria Popova

Happiness is something we’ve been intensely interested in, both from a research and from a cultural perspective. And one thing that consistently cooccurs with true happiness is the notion of authenticity — being, as the contrived but universally accurate saying goes, “true to ourselves,” something that inevitably necessitates a degree of vulnerability most of us are conditioned to be uncomfortable with. Brené Brown‘s fantastic talk from TEDxHouston deconstructs vulnerability to reveal what she calls “wholeheartedness”: The capacity to engage in our lives with authenticity, cultivate courage and compassion, and embrace — not in that self-help-book, motivational-seminar way, but really, deeply, profoundly embrace — the imperfections of who we really are. Read more: http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2010/11/08/brene-brown-tedx-houston/#ixzz1FLQgjGSW

In order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen — really seen.” ~ Brené Brown

Brown’s new book, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are, came out last month and is the most eloquent refutation of the “What will people think?” inner dialogue we’ve ever stumbled across.

Read more: http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2010/11/08/brene-brown-tedx-houston/#ixzz1FLQk23fq

When I am excited about something professional, something I am passionate about designing or making; my hands get a little twitchy. (I don't even know if that is a word) but yet; I am having it now I am getting somewhere little by little Oblomov sweetheart. Wish me luck!

P.S. Sorry I am still getting used to the technicalities of this blogging thing. Please try to embrace my imperfection about the fonts and colours and the illegible parts; otherwise please send me some more tips, they are always welcome!