Ironic! Rain

(photo by ames_'s flickr) It's been raining for ages now. Non stop! I do not want to kill my hopes and optimisim but I must say that until now, Summer 2011 is full of deception, in all senses for me. Today, I found this website 'The sound of rain' for 'peace'. Last week, I could have partially agreed, 3 years ago yes sure! I would have agreed but now, all I want is to show my stomach to the sun!

WOW - I really don't know how to make this blog look nice

Whatever I try, turns into something ugly. Maybe I should work harder on it. Sorry for the time being...

HOW TO - my first How-to?

photography by flickr: Philou.cn

I was reading a blog called "The Happiness Project" and I came across this post called:How to Keep Reality TV from Ruining Your Life

I realized I have never written a HOW-TO. Is is because I do not know "How to?"? Yes I do. So this is the day! Lately, I have been focusing on so many things I want to change in myself and my life that with this post, I realized that I could acknowledge more my abilities and knowledge and somehow grey hairs I have at a very young age. (Yes I am, young). So here is my semi-ironic "How to". I am thinking of making those a serie, just for my personal enjoyment.

I met a person I would very much like to write about in one of the next posts because I have to digest our meeting. The topic comes from the "post drive thru Burger King ride" from yesterday.

How to have a moment of delight?

1 - Find yourself a drink that gives you "peace" but do not let yourself get dehydrated - so drink water as well.

I drink tea, I believe tea helps. I am almost sure it will work for you too but I don't want to put pressure on you.

2 - Find yourself an activity that will make you breathe

I love Yoga and sitting. I love sitting and thinking and looking... You may think of something else of course but I am pretty sure yoga will work for you. Ask Tara Stiles. She is my hero(ine).

3 - Make time for yourself and your drink and your activity (or inactivity).

That means, tell someone that you need to synchronize with the world. (We will cover this topic in depth a little later, maybe in another How-to)

4 - Do not let your skin get dry, your back pain take over your posture and your addictions dominating your time management.

Those things are physical, about your body you live in and delight is a physical experience as well as a mental and emotional one. It is the ultimate climax of peace in perfect rhythm. You have to keep up with it, it has to keep up with you.

So here was my first How-to list. I usually do not ask for comments because I don't really know who is reading this blog -and if anybody is reading- but this time, I would like to know that you think.

So, what do you think?

Edebiyat olme - Daha ben gelecegim!

Yazma heyecanimi desteklemeye calisiyorum cok cok uzun suredir. Liseden arkadasim Sertac beni bu konuda hep sevklendirir, bana hep "Sen kesinlikle bir kitap yazmalisin!" derdi. Belki kendisi hatirlamaz bile ama benim zihnimde yer etti en azindan onun (ve annemin) inaniyor olusu.

Temizlik sirasinda bunu buldum. Ayfer Tunc'la yapilan bir roportajda, onu edebiyatin olmedigine inandiran kitaplardan bahsediyor. Milan Kundera'dan da bahsediyor en son; ben de bir kitabini okudum yakin zamanda, cok etkilendim. Beni aldi, degistirdi, getirdi sanki. Ben Ayfer Tunc degilim ama, benim kitaplarim neler acaba? Ben bu konuda biraz dusuneyim.

Okumaya olan askimi buraya yazayim dedim. Ask, en guzel sey. Bir de su anda klarnet calan komsu, cok guzel!

Cleaning, cleaning, cleaning

I wake up and I miss my glasses because I can not see what's in my box then.. It is just my.. everything. My laptop is shouting for my attention lately, so is my life. I started with my life last week, through my room. Change is like a holiday, it gives us to have 'less things'. I spared many things including the mess. Now I live in a relatively more spacious area. It is time to clean my work / life area now: my box.

I don't know if it is me who finds life very complicated in general, but it is already complicated enough to have a room but now, there is this box thing. TODAY I AM CLEANING MY COMPUTER! That means, my files, photos, bookmarks (ow that is a nightmare because I keep losing myself in the process, those blogs are addictive huh?! ). Long story short, I just felt like sharing the fact that I will structure my mess. Then pick one of the things I wanted to do for a very very long time now... draw, read, write, whatever...

Pride - catching up with myself

Hi it's me,

I am proud of myself today because for the first time in a very very long time, I wrote something that can be remotely called having literary ambitions in long term. Unfortunately it is of a too personal nature to be posted here, but I am now planning to illustrate it. I may actually try this as a side-job or a new blog.

The important thing for me, is that I found some inspiration mostly in me through something else. :)

Apart from that, life has been treating me so well! I am happy. There are minor flaws like a broken heart, but that is not news to anyone I guess. I will get back on my feet again very soon hopefully.

:)

imperfection again

You can’t wait for perfection. You can always wait for the perfect moment, the perfect this, the perfect that. But you really just gotta start doing. And it makes all the difference. Making excuses takes the same time as making progress.” ~ Justin Gignac

Read more on brainpickings

We need more stories -

TODAY from m ss ng p eces on Vimeo.

I like to think in stories but also moments. I just like it

Water bottles discussion

I know there are not a lot of people who follow my blog, although I love writing. Lately more than ever. I am also very picky about my water bottle and I am constantly in search for a nice bottle. I liked the discussion

So, I've realized now that I am the kind of person who doesn't mind drinking water throughout the day ...

Solving my problems

Good friends cherish one's life :)

olumsuzluk iliskisinden fazlasi - more than a negativity relationship

Beni sevmedigini dusundugum biri var, sevdigini bildigim ama sevmedigini dusundugum biri var. Buraya duygularimi dokmeye yazmiyorum; bugun bahsetmek istedigim sey sevmek ve sevmemek arasindaki 3 asama gosteren iliski. Sevmek 1 (bir) ise; sevmemek hem sevme halinin yoksunlugunu, yani 0 (sifir), hem de sevmeme fiilini ifade ediyor yani -1 (eksi 1). Bu gercek bizi cok karistiriyor. Bu durumda sevmemek essesli olabilir mi acaba? Peki yazi dilinde nasil ayiririz bunu? --- There is someone I think does not love me, I know the person does but I still think does not. I am not writing to share my emotions and get relief; what I want to talk about it to love and to not love and the 3 fold relationship between them. If loving is 1 (one); 'to not love' both defines the lack of love, 0 (zero, and the state of not loving, -1 (minus one). This confuses us a lot. Can 'to not love' be himinymic? So how do we make the difference in writing?

gym motivation - miss my bro!

I should maybe cover this in a long and extensive post but I just felt like writing that. I know if I go to the gym, I will get rid of some of the 'spring frustrations' I have while I am getting rid of the excessive calories I have filled my body with in the last years. BUT I just .... don't have a reason and I'm sitting here because my brother is not picking his phone to motivate me. I miss my motivating bro! hugs bro

Mukemmelliyetcinin ic savasini prensler mi bitirmeli?

Bu yaziyi bir arkadasim Siyah Kugu filminden bahsederken gonderdi bana, ben de yaziyla ilgili dusuncelerimi yaziyaziverdim.

Ece Temelkuran'in dusuncelerini sade ve anlasilir, yine de etkili ve derin iletmesi hosuma gitti en cok bir de kose yazarligindan gelen yargilayici oldugunu dusundugum yaklasimina biraz imrenerek baktim. Yargilamaktan o kadar kaciniyoruz ki biz, belki de bir yerde gucunu yitiriyor cumlelerimiz cok daha derinden gelen bir guc arayisiyla, insan olmak, esit olmak arayisiyla. Fakat yargilamak lazim, erkekleri degil ama bilincli ya da bilincsiz sekilde icinde rahat yasadiklari bu duzeni yargilamak lazim. Bunu degistirirken onlarin da bizim ozgurluk danslarimizda olmalari gerektigini soylemek lazim cekinmeden.

Yazinin icerigine gelince, gozlemlerin cok yerinde oldugunu dusunuyorum. Okurken, evet cok dogru, benim canavarim nerede, annemin kizi olarak benim canavarim ne kadar buyuk ne kadar kucuk, diye dusundum. Hepimizin yolunu kesen, kiz cocuklugundan gelme kalma canavarlari var, bir seylere ragmen bir seyler yapmaya alistik kadin olarak; ama bir noktada kesinlikle katilmiyorum Temelkuran'a. "Hiçbir prens kurtarmaz bizi canavarlardan. Ama ancak bir prens bizi sevdiğinde kendimizi kurtarırız kendimizden. " demis; bu kurtarilmayi neden baska prenslere ve onlarin sevkatlerine bagliyoruz? Sevmek, sevilmek ve anlasilmak cok guzel elbette, kendiyle savasmayan kadinlarin korkutuculugunu da biliyoruz toplumda; ama yine de neden baskalari kurtariyor bizi? Ozgurlugumu elime almak istiyorum ve bu gucu annemden, topraktan, deneyimleyebilen ellerimden almak istiyorum, aliyorum.

Kadinlarin ic durdurucularina ve elestiricilerine, mukemmelliyet arayiscilari olan ic iskence dongulerine bir baskasinin sevgisi uzerinden cozum bulmak ayni duzenin parcasi degil midir? Bir adim daha atsak gercek anlamda ozgur olmaz miyiz?

Ideas of March

We need a blog revival! Here’s how you can join in the blog revival:

• Write a post called Ideas of March.
• List some of the reasons you like blogs.
• Pledge to blog more the rest of the month.
• Share your thoughts on Twitter with the #ideasofmarch hashtag.

I recently reached this through Twitter, which I find pretty ironic. But here I am "reviving my blog" and I also think he has a point. I like blogs because

• They allow a person to person connection
• So it becomes "more emotional" in a way (that I am into!)
• It provides review of the past thoughts.
• For the blogger, for me, my blog is something I use to make my thoughts presentable, it is a good exercise
• It also allows me to work on a full story within intervals of time

I am not an experience twitter (is that what we call people who tweet?). I enjoy it but most of the time, Twitter makes my head turn. It is like a lot of people talking and I do not know who to listen. It is nice for 'smelling the air' but to actually understand things and people, I need time and space. That is all for now, I will try to post more in march.

Wholeheartidness

Hello!

I just bumped into this online. Since I recently have been in Hella Jongerius' Misfit exhibition in Museum Booijmans van Beuningen, I have also started to think how much 'Imperfectionism' can mean. Here there is this other post that made me think. I have not reached anywhere yet but I feel something.

PICKED: Brené Brown on Wholeheartedness

By Maria Popova

Happiness is something we’ve been intensely interested in, both from a research and from a cultural perspective. And one thing that consistently cooccurs with true happiness is the notion of authenticity — being, as the contrived but universally accurate saying goes, “true to ourselves,” something that inevitably necessitates a degree of vulnerability most of us are conditioned to be uncomfortable with. Brené Brown‘s fantastic talk from TEDxHouston deconstructs vulnerability to reveal what she calls “wholeheartedness”: The capacity to engage in our lives with authenticity, cultivate courage and compassion, and embrace — not in that self-help-book, motivational-seminar way, but really, deeply, profoundly embrace — the imperfections of who we really are. Read more: http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2010/11/08/brene-brown-tedx-houston/#ixzz1FLQgjGSW

In order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen — really seen.” ~ Brené Brown

Brown’s new book, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are, came out last month and is the most eloquent refutation of the “What will people think?” inner dialogue we’ve ever stumbled across.

Read more: http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2010/11/08/brene-brown-tedx-houston/#ixzz1FLQk23fq

When I am excited about something professional, something I am passionate about designing or making; my hands get a little twitchy. (I don't even know if that is a word) but yet; I am having it now I am getting somewhere little by little Oblomov sweetheart. Wish me luck!

P.S. Sorry I am still getting used to the technicalities of this blogging thing. Please try to embrace my imperfection about the fonts and colours and the illegible parts; otherwise please send me some more tips, they are always welcome!

Ankara'yi ozlemek -1-

Ben gercek bir Ankara'liyim. Insanlarla birlikte, neseliyim ama seviyeli olmam daha cok carpar goze; gitmeyi severim, durmayi daha cok severim. Durup bakmayi, dinlemeyi, dinlenmeyi; bir cay icmeyi severim.

Bunlari hep biliyordum; ama cok az soyleyebildim. Nazli Eray'la tanisana kadar. Ankara'da uzun zamandir en uzun kalisimi, sehrin degisik kokularini icime cekisimi tamamlayan kitabimi okuyasiya kadar, arkamda biraktigim sehirdi evimin sehri. Simdi, kimseye Ankara'ya gitmeyi tavsiye etmesem de; ozluyorum. Evimin sehri, Ankara. Yasamayi istedigimi dusunmedigim yer ama yine de ozledigim yer.

Yillar sonra ingilizce karakterlerim

2008 yilinda yazmisim en son iletimi. Ne sular akti 2 senedir koprulerin altindan... Guzel oldu. Ilk tepki olarak gulumsuyorum bu iki seneyi dusununce. Bunu kim merak ediyor, bilmiyorum.

Bu iletinin konusu su sorulari yanitlamak:

- 2 senedir ne yapiyordum?

- Neden yazmadim?

- Bugun neden yaziyorum?

2 senedir ogreniyordum. Oblomov'la paylasacagim bir suru sey yasadim ama kendime o kadar donmusum; askin, meslegimin, hayatimin icinde oyle kaybolmusum ki, yansimalar ve geri donusler eksik kalmis biraz. Cok guzel gecti bu iki sene. Cok farkliyim simdi.. Bugun yaziyorum cunku biriktirmek istiyorum.

Klavyemden dolayi ozur diliyorum, ben de hic hoslanmiyorum bu durumdan, ama simdilik boyle olmak zorunda, cunku boylesi daha rahat. Yavas yavas oturacak her sey yerine.

Kendime donmek istiyorum bugun ve sonrasinda. Keske'ler degil ama belki'ler icinde yasiyorum son zamanlarda, kaygilari ve planlari deneyimlerle degisirmek istiyorum.

Bundan sonra biriktirmek istiyorum.. Kavramlar, baglantilar duygular biriktirmek istiyorum.

Dunle ilgili yazilar yarinla ilgili oldu.

Haydi bakalim...